hmmm.

well today is a sad day. a friend of mine's fiance died suddenly this morning. wow. totally puts things in to perspective and really makes you realize how short life is. if my husband died i think i would die too. i cant even imagine it.

sigh.

that's my favorite word right now.

sigh.

fired my agent. that's good.
gone a few auditions later. they have been much better. i know i am getting close. i can feel it.

went home for a few days. awesome.

life is good.

took my real estate license test on monday. i think it went well. should find out friday.

i have to do a videotape of myself tomorrow saying who i am. and why i am personality. i mean isnt it clear. naw. but that's kinda hard. how do you just say, hey this is me!!!

i'll let you know how it all goes.

clueless

so i just read a bunch of my other blogs. funny. it's so weird to read about my dreams, hopes, and expectations of L.A. and then what is real. man was i clueless. whew. i just realized though that i had a pretty good run there last june. hopefully that happens again.

what's annoying is that i am working so much harder at it now. crazy right? maybe i need to not worry about it so much. just live and let it happen. that's right. i have no control over it, i can only be prepared when it comes to me.

ok. so update time. didn't get the commercial agent. not so sure if i like my manager. hmmm. started a hosting class. love the teacher and she is a host manager. would love for her to rep me. my first class we had a theatrical manager come speak with us. love'd her too.

been taking classes at Ivanna Chubbuck studios (Halle Berry's coach). Not sure if its working. gonna change classes. just to see.

still working at ketchup. still trying to get another job. i guess all u can do is try.

ok. enough for now. u have been updated.

nothing yet. have to call the agency back on Wednesday to see if they want to sign with me. meeting with my scene partner today. we are doing romy and michele for class on Monday. oh. i need to pay for class on monday too. oops. um. my husband is going back out of town tomorrow. he will be back on wed. sigh.

one more thing

since moving to LA. I have done a short film. i can't wait to see it. and just recently i signed with a manager. that was a big step. i have been interviewing with this commericial agency called LW 1. I have my second interview with them tomorrow at 11am. I hope I can sign with them. Next from that is. New headshots, hosting class, then on to the theatrical agent. my goal is to get a recurring role this fall. i know i can do it. just got to believe. anything can change in a minute. ooo. also want to make enough money to get the roommate out. i want this place just for me and the hubby. ok. nite nite. i will write more tomorrow after the meeting.

Husband Gone Again

ok. well. i haven't blogged in forever. and i think i will turn this blog into my experiences. over the past year i have had a lot of changes in my life. Since last July I have moved to Los Angeles and gotten married. Married!!!! I know. Crazy right? Well anywho? My wonderful husband is away again. That's right, I said again. Just about every week he is out of town. This time Seattle. Next week, San Diego. We had plans tonight to go to this restaurant called Dolce, that is 1/2 off every Monday. Well. I am at home alone. Watching reruns and drinking wine. I have been alone all day. Just me and the boys. I have had a lot of time to think today. And actually I have gotten some things done. Crazy, huh??? Well anyway. I am going to try to continue this positive streak. I have to. I know that God has amazing things in store for me. Amazing. It's weird. When I say that I know it, but sometimes I don't believe it. I don't know if that makes any sense. I just have to work on my faith. That's the fun part. I feel like I am changing. I am growing. I am becoming a new woman. I like this new woman. Change can be scary. But I am really excited about it. I am holding myself more accountable. I fall short sometimes, but I get right back up. There is this new commercial that I love with Andy Garcia. Where he says something to the effect of you cant be afraid to fall. Just make sure you fall forward. Beautiful. Here's to falling forward.

So much

I have been such an awful blogger. I am going to do better. Well let's have a little catch up session shall we? My fiance and I moved from Austin to LA. That was an experience. We were supposed to share a two bedroom place with a "friend" of ours. We had been searching all summer for a place and finally on Friday, the day we were to arrive in LA, we were approved for this great place in Westwood. So we are scrambling around Palm Springs, CA trying to find a way to wire our "friend" the money so he could go ahead and put down the deposit. BTW Palm Springs is about 2 hours outside of LA. Well at that moment I get a phone call saying, "Hey I don't want to do this anymore." Needless to say I was livid. It's a good thing I wasn't driving. So we spent the next 3 nights in a hotel, sneaking the dogs in, trying to find a place to live. We had no such luck. The process just takes too long. You know filling out applications, credit checks, getting approved. So we just decided to take the place we already had even though we can't afford it. We may end up getting a roommate, but for now I love it and don't want anyone else there. Enough of that drama. Okay so the day we leave Austin and begin driving to Los Angeles, I get a call from the casting director in Austin to work on Quentin's movie. I couldn't belive it. I had been out of Austin for all of 8 hours and was already having to go back. So I was in LA for 3 weeks and then flew back to Texas. Man was that weird. Getting off the plane in Austin after having just left was SO weird, and HOT as hell. Man I miss that Cali weather. I am in Houston right now. I came home to get fitted for my wedding dress. I love it. It is so beautiful. I can't believe I am getting married. CRAZY!!! Working in QT's movie has been awesome. I know that any day now I am getting lines, which is a HUGE deal. HUGE. I will be so stoked. I also because of the movie have had the chance to meet so really cool hollywood people. Not to mention just the actors in the film, but also really cool crew people. But I also met Eli Roth. He is the director of Cabin Fever and Hostel. I met him my first day on set. He is so nice and sweet. But even bigger than that I met Harvey Weinstein, who is THE producer in Hollywood. Let's put it this way, he produced Lord of the Rings. Cha-ching!!! So hopefully I made a good impression and he remembers me. I can't wait to get my lines. Ok. Enough. I promise I will do better. Promise.

I shouldna left you without a dope beat to step to...

Damn it's been a minute. Sorry. Well let's try and catch up. It's been an okay last couple of weeks. I am writing from my hotel room in Los Angeles, CA. Say, What??? Don't get too excited it ain't that crucial.

I won a little competition in Austin called I Wanna Be a Soap Star, Live. They flew 6 of us out to Hollywood to audition on Soap Talk for a walk on role on General Hospital. Well, I didn't win. :( But a black guy did :). He was really sweet too. His name is Maurice. I am so not okay with losing. Uhh...The competitor in me came out hard core. But I knew I wasn't gonna win. We all had to audition the same script with the hosts of Soap Talk and I went first. Well, the hosts hadn't really seen the script so he (Ty) just kinda read the lines. As the audition progressed they (the hosts) got WAY more into it and the scenes got more interesting, funnier and more relaxed. But as a perfectionist I refuse to place blame solely on them. I could have done more as an actor. I was totally nervous. By the end of the scene I was aieght, but I also could have been better. But it was so obvious. Even in the break after half of us had gone, Ty looked at me and said, its kinda hard going first huh? Well if anything I learned to BRING IT!!! Always from the start, and who cares if you look dumb, shit its just TV.

Ok. Enough about LA even though it is FABU. I started back work on the movie, and I love it. I so know this is what I am meant and want to do. As crazy as it is. I know it. I just have to remind myself of that at all times, because it gets hard when I see all my lawyer friends and all that cheddar that they are bringing in. I just have to keep the faith and TRUST in the Lord. HE will take care of me.

Oh and if you are wondering why I am writing this, its because my fiance is asleep. That's right. SLEEP. Roscoe's Chicken n' Waffles, put him down for the night. He's been knocked out since 9pm. Damn!

Uh. Let's see what else. Oh I booked a Texas Lotto gig that was SAG. That means I am now eligible to apply for the Screen Actors Guild Union. Which means I can get so much more work. And paid so much more. YIPPEE!!!! It was so perfect, because it is so much better that I am SAG before moving to LA. God is wonderful!!!

QT supposedly is coming back to Austin this week. I hope so. I hope he will give me a shot on this movie. I know how completely far-fetched it is, but hey a girl can dream right. Right, Erin????

Ok, enough for now. I am gonna finish this bottle of wine, watch L.A. Confidential and continue dreaming....peace....

Once again....here we go

Well they shut down production. That's right. Your heard me. Shut down production. I was supposed to go back to work last night, but they SHUT DOWN PRODUCTION. Anyways, so here I am just chillin at the crib with no job again and no prospects of $$$ coming in. It's a little scary. My savings account is already half of what it was and I am trying my best not to dip into it anymore.

apparently they are going to start work on Quentin T.'s portion of the film, but I have no way to get in touch with him to try and still get that audition. I never got his number or anything, because I was seeing him on a daily basis. So now I am considering stalking out his hotel. I know where he stays when he is in town. I don't know if he is in town, but I may go by there tonight. We'll see. I asked my agent for help, but of course I have heard nothing back from her. She is so unreliable and I can't stand her. If I were staying in Austin, I would drop her in a sec. Blechh!!!

Not much else. Bored as hell. Taking care of the dogs. Trying to find some work so I can pay my bills. I don't want to rely on Brod for everything, he already pays for so much. Hopefully next time I will have better news.

P.S. Oh did audition for a small role in a Lifetime movie. That would be cool if that goes down.